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The advice “show, don’t tell” is certainly one of the most overused pieces of writing instruction.  But it’s overused for a very good reason:  It’s a core principle of great storytelling.

 

When a character’s simple action reveals more about him than five paragraphs of expository prose, you’ve rewarded your reader with something wonderful.

 

I’ve been enjoying the new HBO series Westworld.  It’s well written, beautifully acted and very intriguing.  In this week’s episode, the writers pull off a masterful bit of “show, don’t tell” that I wanted to point out, in hopes it will spark some ideas for your own writing.

 

Westworld takes place in a theme park in which human visitors get to relive the old west, thanks to hundreds of human-like robots.  In this week’s episode, we’re introduced to two human visitors as they arrive at the park:  William and Logan.

 

We get the idea pretty early that Logan is cocky, arrogant and most likely looking for trouble.  But we aren’t so sure about William.  He’s quiet and perhaps a bit intimidated by the experience.  But how he’ll act once ensconced in Westworld is a mystery.

 

Until the writers pull of a spectacular “show, don’t tell” moment.

 

We follow William as he selects his wardrobe for his adventure.  Some boots, a vest, a jacket.  And then he comes to his final selection.

 

On one wall, a rack of black hats.  On the other, a rack of white hats.

 

The camera closes in on William’s face as he ponders his decision.

 

The next shot is of William and Logan striding down Westworld’s dusty main street.  Logan is wearing a black hat, William is wearing his newly chosen white hat.

 

And with that, we’ve learned volumes about these men and their intentions.  One is there to be an outlaw, the other a hero.

 

And not a word of dialogue was needed.  That’s showing, not telling.

 

 

(Image:  HBO)

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    Comments

    1. Dean Reynolds
      October 21st

      An excellent analogy. It’s wonderful what colors can conjure up in the mind.
      Love your term ‘show – don’t tell’
      Must now get back to my current project and do some ruthless editing !!!

    2. Don Nelson
      October 21st

      • There’s a simple question you can ask of any written passage, to help you understand if it is showing and not telling.

      •Can the lens of a virtual camera see it? If the camera can’t see it – it’s telling. If the camera can see it – it’s showing.

      •There are exceptions of course. This virtual camera can’t see sounds, smells, temperatures or tastes. They must be described – but this is not telling.

      •But on the whole, can the camera see it?

    3. Don Nelson
      October 21st

      • There is a place for GREAT TELLING but it is based in emotion.

      • Use telling when you can’t see it, smack it, weigh it or lick it . . . . or you want to describe the mood or an intuition or you want to create tension in the invisible.

    4. Don Nelson
      October 21st

      • Telling forces a reader to stand outside a candy store window, able to see, perhaps, and hear what happens inside . . . but he remains outside.

      • Showng invites the reader into the store to taste the bite of bitter chocolate or the tang of a lemon drop. The reader will feel the stretch in taffy; maybe even become mired in a mess of spilled molasses.

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